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Wouldn't it be easy to just Just Fly Away!!  Forget the daily grind of getting up to the same jobs that need to be done every day--washing dishes, fixing meals, dusting only to have the dust reappear almost as soon as you finish, ironing (once in awhile), putting clothes away (or not), grocery shopping--and on and on my list goes.  Vacation days are what I think I need--someone else cooking, reading a book that takes little thinking, window shopping, just taking my own "sweet time".  But that is not my world today--maybe never and for this minute that is ok!  I want that feeling to continue--my world for this moment is ok--sorta!!!
Fifty years ago plus a few weeks when I married, I NEVER imagined my golden years would not be so golden!  I envisioned a home of my dreams--three bedrooms, two baths, a study, a living room for those special occasions like Christmas, Easter and birthdays, a den--does anyone even use that word any more?--a dining room for very special occasions!, a yard that produced flowers,especially zinnias in the summer, that occasionally was The Yard of the Month!  And at least four grandchildren who would be my delight!  That has not happened.  And for this moment that is ok!  That was my dream--not the Father's plan for my life.
There are plenty of times that I mourn that unfulfilled dream, there are even times that I am mad at myself for even thinking that was my dream and there are times I rage at the Father for even allowing me to have that dream.  Webster's defines dreams as "to have visions, to delude oneself with imagined things, picture, fantasize, be in the clouds".  Webster goes on to say that a dreamer is " visionary--a good thing I think--Oops! an idealist, a romantic" and then he goes on to say "RADICAL"--I'm not even going to look that up!
The only way this can be ok is that I believe the Father has a better plan--a plan to give me a hope and a future--Jer. 31.  And for me most of the time my belief that the Father is right is when I struggle and have no where else to go but to the Father!  Rage goes away, tears come and I beg for His presence.